“Hello! We appreciate you considering us as possible adoptive parents. For more info about us, please feel free to visit our adoption website!”
We don’t know how you are feeling in this situation, but we imagine there are many profiles that you are reading and we appreciate you considering us for such an important decision. We are feeling hopeful that you might be the one to choose our family! Below is more information to help explain a bit about who we are and why we’re on this journey.
Early on in our relationship, we talked about our desire to become parents. Once we were engaged and planning our wedding, we decided to move to our “forever” home so that after the wedding we could focus full-time on growing our family. We are both so excited to be parents and have a lot of love to give!
We’ve learned a great deal about open adoption and the benefits for everyone involved of an adopted child maintaining some level of connection with his or her birth family. If chosen, we would love to discuss and explore a level of openness we all feel comfortable with in the adoption.
We look forward to meeting you and getting to know you!
Phil: I am very good at putting myself in other people’s shoes and always try to consider how other people might be feeling. I have a good sense of humor and I love to laugh. Also, I try to always treat others the way I want to be treated. In part because of these qualities, I think I’m good at bringing a group of people together and pride myself on being easy to talk to.
Mike: I consider myself to be a hard worker, but can also be goofy at times and enjoy laughing with friends and family, even about mundane things. I can be serious and often make plans for the future and how to improve our lives or how to help other people. When I’m physically present with somebody, I’m also mentally and emotionally present and don’t do things like check my phone or think of what to say while somebody else is talking; I try to really listen.
We initially “met” online in the fall of 2015, but met in-person when Mike asked Phil to meet him for coffee at a local coffee shop on November 1, 2015. The coffee shop was crowded and hot, so we took our coffees to go and walked for hours around Lansing talking and laughing. The connection was immediate and we never looked back!
Mike proposed to Phil on the evening of February 2, 2017 while on a cruise in the Caribbean on the upper deck at the very front of the ship – the moon was bright that night, half-full, and was strangely tipped so just the bottom half of the moon was visible, almost like a smile! After Phil said yes, he revealed to Mike that he had planned to propose to Mike on February 4th – two days later! We’re usually on the same page, but rarely THAT in sync! We were married on November 18, 2017, surrounded by family and friends.
In our relationship, we show that we love each other through acts demonstrating that the other is in our thoughts. Before we part ways, we always say we love each other. We are a good team and each use our strengths in the relationship. We both try to give 100% rather than 50%; that way, if one of us has a moment when they can’t give their all, the other is able to cover. We make each other laugh and we have fun together even if we’re just doing laundry.
Phil is a deputy county clerk for our county. He assists people with getting certified copies of birth certificates, marriage licenses, and death certificates, along with many other things. It’s a good chance to serve our community and sometimes he gets to be a witness for a wedding at the courthouse!
Mike is an original cataloger with the library of a major university. He gets to see rare and unusual books in a wide variety of languages and describe them and their contents in order to make them findable to people throughout the world.
Phil and Mike will both utilize FMLA for 12 unpaid weeks at home with the baby, then return to work full time with the baby in a local daycare.
Discipline is important to protect children and to set them up for success by teaching them which behaviors to avoid, whether that’s for personal safety or to help them become respectful, well-adjusted people. Corporal punishment should never be used in discipline and as parents we would never use physically or emotionally threatening methods. Instead, we will provide positive reinforcement and model positive behaviors.
Education is very important to us. Phil was almost a teacher (having gone back to school to get his Secondary English Education teaching certificate) before ultimately deciding to work in a more collaborative job. Mike was one of the first people in his family to go to college, and he now works at a university library and has for over a decade. Education can make a huge difference in someone’s life and opens many opportunities. The value of education beyond high school (vocational or college) is something we would stress in raising a child.
What we value:
We value teamwork, love, respect, honesty, fun, and hard work. One of the things we appreciate about one another is how each takes care of the other. We also show gratitude to one another frequently for what the other does for the family.
Phil was raised Catholic and Mike was brought up in a United Methodist church, but neither actively attend church. While we support the religious beliefs of others, we do not believe organized religion is necessary to live moral, ethical lives.
Friends and family:
Phil and Mike both have close relationships with friends and family. Phil’s parents and Mike’s mom all live very close and we see them often, along with some extended family and friends. Our parents are all very excited at the possibility of being nearby grandparents! Other family members and friends live farther away (as far as Kansas, New York City or Japan) but we make an effort to see them when we can and stay connected via the internet when we can’t be together in person. Spending holidays and also just regular days with family and friends is an important part of our lives and something we value.
We enjoy cooking and baking together (especially a traditional German cookie called a springerle), spending time with relatives and friends, watching TV shows (like Star Trek: The Next Generation, How I Met Your Mother, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer), going to movies (especially romantic comedies and superhero movies), and have a two-person book club. We enjoy hosting and playing in imaginative games like murder-mystery parties and even real-life versions of Big Brother and Survivor, and have a group of friends with which we regularly play collaborative board games and compete in trivia nights. For vacations we like to either visit friends who live farther away or go on cruises to the Caribbean. We also have fun gardening in our backyard and have had lots of success with tomatoes, cucumbers, and green beans, but zucchinis—not so much!
Where we live and why:
We live in a three bedroom home with a large yard and plenty of space to relax and play in a well-established suburb outside Lansing (Michigan’s capital city) and close to Michigan State University and Lansing Community College.
Our neighborhood has a majority of middle to upper middle class residents with a relatively diverse population. There are lots of kids close by and you can often hear children outside playing. In fact, three neighbors all just had baby girls within 3 months of each other!
Phil has twice lived in San Francisco and Mike has purchased and sold several houses around the area so we can say that our decision to live in this home, in this neighborhood, and in this community was very intentional. We chose this as our home because it’s a great place to raise a family and a wonderful place to come home to each day. The amazing school district (rated #2 in the state this year!) was a major factor, plus we are one neighborhood away from Phil’s parents. Two of the public schools are within walking distance from our home and we can hear sporting events from our yard and even the bells.
We are delighted to be only the third family to live in our house, with the past two families each living here about 30 years, and look to grow our connections to the community while we also continue working to make the house our happy forever home.